£◊NΞR’S £◊UNGE

End of line.

2012-01-11T16:57:00.001-08:00

Recently dropped a project that doesn't make much sense for me to continue. After a few advice from the pros I know, I've come to that decision. True, it's my lack of knowledge and insufficient timeline.

In this project, I've lost three important things in life being friendship, the chance of seeing the girl, and revenue. I guess it's for the best. That is why from now on, I'm doing things solo. I don't wanna get in other people's way.

Personal Entry about Software Development

2012-01-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

In the past few days, I've been in the verge of frustration, dilemma and stress about a few freelance jobs that I've randomly picked up along the journey of employment in a company. There are quite a number of problems that I've faced so far,

a. Delays from a team member

b. The unfamiliarity of the head of a startup that doesn't even know how to use Git in the command line, the source code management system. Lots of Eclipse EGit issues happening on the head's end.

c. Inappropriate timeline estimation

d. Other misc. nonsense.

Personally, delays are tolerable if there are technical complications that are inevitable, but if works are delayed to a certain extent that it's delayed for too long, who knows what could happen!? It slows down progress!

There are some business folks who claim that they know about how technology works. The fact is, that's not always the case. Some software developers aren't familiar with non-object-oriented approach towards web development, because to them it doesn't make sense, which I have to agree since I study Java and other JVM and object-oriented programming, as well as practise Java and Grails development fairly well, yet business folks sometimes point us to using existing content management systems which sometimes is not actually a department of expertise of object-oriented software developers. Web development timeline usually takes approximately three months to complete(which includes the development process, bug fixes, quality assurance, etc). Some business folks think that it's so easy to set up that development can be shortened to a month and less. Who do they think we are? Robots that never rest? That is why I need to express that business people don't know about tech and should leave the tech to those skillful software developers to do their thing.

Enough ranting, back to work...

Irish Flag

2012-01-01T05:36:00.000-08:00

It was 31st December and closing to midnight. Everyone had plans for the night but me. Tired and bored of suffocating from the room's humid atmosphere, I went out alone to the city of KL to see what I can think of doing, and perhaps even spend all my time until morning. Ended up strolling the entire KL because of that. Don't like noisy and jam-packed places.

I still remember the empty soul of mine drifting along with the sweetness of the Irish Flag in Malone's Restaurant. It turned out to be a bit funny that I've ended up ordering an alcoholic drink with a size of a tequila glass.

Just sitting there, alone and empty, spacing off like nobody's business, but that doesn't matter. The lone wolf will stay the way it is, until the right times come. Happy New Year 2012.

Wanting to be a Free Man

2011-10-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

Work has been okay for me so far. I can manage my own project by myself well. I finally knew what to do all this time, because i followed a good mentor.

Despite all of that, bureaucracy still exists when I work at a company. Even when I wanna go and earn some pocket money for me to buy a development device to learn up some tablet coding, it will take up my daily working hours and I have to ask permission from my CTO. Oh boy, that is gonna be tough.

I wonder why this world had so much rules in the first place, in a way that restricts humans from doing whatever they want? Why am I still living the life that I only can afford? Why are humans starve and beg on the streets because they're unable to make a living for themselves? Why why why?

The story continues...

Random Log Sunday 22:26

2011-09-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Just been having a sick weekend at home and recovering. Things are just going okay, especially with working under a company which knows what it does, because it made sense.

Lately, I've been worrying about two things, being my graduation ceremony and that loan interest reduction.

For the loan interest reduction, I really have no time to deal with it because I'm busy with my own daily work, as well as the hassle of getting the loan interest rate down to 1% (PTPTN is actually making us photocopy a few documents to them again, just like the first time we applied for PTPTN. What nonsense).

As for the graduation ceremony, I didn't actually get a clear image on how to get there yet. My parents insist to take a bus, but what the heck! I can actually rent a car, but they don't want it. Do you know how troublesome it is to take domestic buses to Melaka and going to the university itself? Plus, for the graduation ceremony, I have to pay RM100 for graduation robe rental!? And I actually thought that it was handled by the university! Not just that, I'm so pissed off by some friends who actually has their own vehicles to transport themselves can't help a friend of mine who is also their coursemates. To think that I'm from the east, and I'm actually helping a West Malaysian to get to Melaka, I guess you all as coursemates should be well ashamed. Well, I finally know how to return this friend of mine a favor, since that he assisted me through hard times long ago.

Lost my job...

2011-08-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

I lost my job. So, should I feel sad? I don't think so. I just felt relieved that I can make a decision in a rational way. I guess I should find another job now. But where should I go? What should I do? Still dunno just yet. Even for that freelance project some guy introduced to me is still on hold for some reason. I guess it's inevitable. OK, now I'm in a financial crisis since I don't have any savings.

The story continues.

Just another entry...

2011-08-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

Been working in MobileApps.com for a month now. But I still can't feel their vibe. Sometimes it really makes me wonder, what am I actually good at? Nothing, I suppose. I don't know multiple programming languages to actually handle an enterprise project. Tough, it's tough. Does it mean that I'm incompetent? Am I not suited for working on somebody else's mess? Do I actually have problems with my own attitude?

Is it too early for me to think about how to get out of their chain and start my own business? Maybe, maybe not. I wouldn't be so sure. The fact is, I gotta find somewhere that I can do more productive work and learn as much as I can. But where???

I wonder what else I wanna complain in this blog...

Freelancing Woes

2011-05-31T02:24:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday, May 31 2011. Just sitting inside Starbucks spending some time alone. I've been thinking of how to survive in Kuala Lumpur, since freelancing isn't that reliable anymore. RM2k isn't really enough for me to sustain after all. There should be something that I can do to rectify the situation whereby the operations of the current startup that I've joined is moving ever so slowly, without any projects coming in so far.

Since I've been working freelance for almost 4-5 months now, I've realized one thing. When there is nothing important between me and my co-workers, I get ignored or neglected in a way. I wouldn't know what is going on. Maybe it's just me, the incompetent and weak one.

It is true that freelancing is tough where you would actually have to be alone most of the time, without much interaction with the outside world, unless it is related to work.

I guess this is really affecting my mental health and career development.

Slacker Day Out and Formula 1 Event Promo(Coincidentally...)

2011-04-08T11:01:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting at home with nothing else to do these days. Despite with my almost-drained-out pocket, I still managed to move around KL for some reason. Simple math.

Some people think I'm crazy to move around with public transportation. I'm gonna tell you guys out there. If you guys are in for saving money without buying a car, consuming fuel a lot, and resulting in draining your own pocket, use your legs and stamina, as well as the bus. Although things get worse with public transportation such as bus is jam packed like a sardine can, I guess you can get used to that. Malaysian public transportation sucks, I know. But hey~ The main objective is to move around places cost-effectively. Plus, it sure can burn down some calories.

Walked around Bukit Bintang, then walked to KLCC. I didn't actually know that F1 Grand Prix is around the corner. Promos are running inside the KLCC building and out.

The Petronas Grand Prix 2011 Booth

Petronas F1 car on display...

F1 Racing Simulator

Mercedez Benz CLS 63 AMG

The day after, I came back to the exact same spot for the free live concert to catch a glimpse of the Wondergirls. Well, I didn't manage to see them since that their performances were scheduled late and I have to go back before midnight before any transportation issues occur. Shortage of money, remember?

The Grand Prix Live Free Concert

Costume guy with wings...

Me and a costume girl...

Oh look! It's a human peacock! Nice...

The loner's story continues...

Exclusive : Free Time of a Freelancer on 28 March 2011

2011-03-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

Basically I just spent some time cleaning the room I'm livin' in currently. Dust is accumulating drastically since I haven't been doing much cleaning for almost three months due to hard work. Now that I've mentioned it, the whole apartment seems to be messy. Can't possibly manage it on my own, but I wonder who will do it other than myself? Aww well.

Anyways, I've been doing some reading lately regarding How to Be A Rockstar Freelancer. To begin with that, one has to have an ideal workspace. Perhaps getting decent furniture to fit in a small room is a challenge, plus the height of the small table I currently have isn't that appropriate for me, since that I have to sit long hours and it's gonna jeopardize my health. My back is starting to sore.

Blogging seems to be a trend these days. I have finally updated my blog into a new look. Gotta find another Blogger template for my tech blog, if possible.

March 25th 2011

2011-03-25T04:30:00.001-07:00

My first freelance project has finally finished. Thank goodness. I was waiting for my first project bonus to come out soon, but I'll have to wait until middle of April. Pfft~

Anyways, I've been sleeping most of my days just to clear my mind off things a bit. It's because when I stay up late are night alone, thoughts will fly in my head.

Is it really worth it to find that girl in Singapore? She's alone right now. I've known her for years and I actually didn't get the chance to meet her yet. Should I?

March 16 2011

2011-03-15T22:38:00.001-07:00

I'm still handling a freelance project for a client at this point of time. It should have been done a while ago. But changes are underway, plus some faults that I've committed.

These days I've been so frustrated that because things ain't going exactly as planned, but then again I'm still a newbie.

19 March is gonna be my birthday. Well, I dunno how I should celebrate it anyways. I should probably just get it over with and buy a new toy for myself. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. A new laptop.... B-)

The story continues.

February 13 2011

2011-02-13T06:27:00.001-08:00

It's the second day since I flew back to Petaling Jaya for the dream job of a lifetime, a freelancer.

It's a pity that I have to go back to my old routines such as grocery shopping for some food restock, eating economic rice, and being a night owl though. But programmers should be that way at an early stage, right?

Now I gotta discipline myself and try to keep up with the momentum, and start earning big bucks!

Mom and Her Plantation

2011-02-08T21:32:00.001-08:00

Mom's always been farming since we had a home like a decade ago, in Limbang. Sometimes she cooked veggies from her plantation, sometimes she sells them for extra cash. Although not much, but it's good enough to make a small living out of it.

Six Days Left Before I Fly

2011-02-06T18:54:00.001-08:00

Alrighty! Six days left before departure back to Petaling Jaya. Works are left behind for a few days now. Gotta focus on it when I get back. Please make time run faster and end my worrying misery!

No Mood for Celebrations

2011-02-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It has been a few days since I came back to Limbang. The image of Limbang itself ain't changing much, perhaps a teensy bit of it.

After not seeing my parents for so long, I kinda told my parents what happened to me after internship, that I've started a new venture with some partners to develop mobile applications. Somehow my parents disagree on what I've decided for my career path. What good are parents that don't give any form of moral support to their children? Negativity isn't something I require.

Apart from that, I also didn't want to go out and meet other friends or people from Limbang. I just didn't feel it's necessary and considering that I don't have much friends to begin with.

Chinese New Year is just around the corner. Don't feel like celebrating it. I haven't even achieved anything yet and you want me to celebrate CNY? Are you kidding me? I'm currently on a project right now and I can't think because of the celebration that is just about to come by. Distracting... very very distracting.

Been struggling and finding some place where I truly belong. One thing's for certain, it's not Limbang or Brunei.

As a person, I think of myself as forsaken and an individual who's easily forgotten and being laughed at. I had enough of this. Girls don't like me because of my looks and attitude. I seriously hate those who looked down on me. If I were to succeed, even if it means I have to sacrifice my social life, so be it, because there wasn't much of a social life. Laugh while you still can, cause I'm gonna make every single individual realize that Tan Hong Ann isn't just a commoner you see on the streets, as my desire and passion will never pull its hand break.

Decisions

2010-12-23T04:28:00.000-08:00

Finally I have ended my internship without any problems. It seems that it had ended earlier than I thought, since the internship boss is hinting me to leave, as well as the early submission of the internship report and logbook. I'm kinda glad that I can leave early because it is best for me since I don't have any other task that I can continue anymore, and I have other things that I wanna work on. My own application is still beyond completion, as well as I have joined a startup company, developing Android applications.

On the other hand, I have gone for an interview for Seednet Technologies which is situated in Asia Jaya, Selangor. From that interview, I see the boss's point of view regarding me joining a startup company. It is indeed difficult to start a business, based on the boss's opinion and experience. Plus, if let's say if I join the company, imagine how much benefit I would get - direct access to Blackberry's developers for assistance, trainings, and perhaps even to start a branch for the company based on how skilled I will be in the future.

Seriously, I'm not sure which career path that I would choose. Sure wish that someone can guide me out through this.

Saturday, Nov 6 2010, Night-Time

2010-11-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

Today's a rather quiet and tranquil night as usual, with lots of things to do, yet slacking as always. It's been quite a while since I blogged, so here goes.

It's been already over two months here in Petaling Jaya SS2. Selling plan failed. Worked in a sushi restaurant for two weeks then I quit because of the persuasions of the boss of Fireworks Solutions. Now, I'm just working really hard on what I'm supposed to do, programming.

I would want to say for once that the current job I have now was a job that I find very amusing, yet very tough at the same time. If you're a co-worker of mine, you would probably see me outside of the office getting a puff(a figurative speech for smoking) quite often because of stress due to some ridiculous requirements that the boss a.k.a Creative Director puts on top of me. But I think I had managed to cope with it by searching and implementing some workarounds to it.

Besides the usual intern work, I do have a free mobile application that I've been working since the past two months, and I'm trying to get it to debut on GoMobile conference 2010 on Saturday and Sunday. Buggy codes...

Just tonight I saw my brother going online, but I don't really feel like talking to him, just because I really felt bad about myself because of his stabbing words that I use a hell lot of money during internship. And I did see his blog mentioning about the things that he had gone through, with our family. I don't know what to feel about this. He made his mistake and he's gotta take into account of the consequences. Just hope that everything goes well after graduation. I will work full force until I get what I want, and try to sustain my family's living.

I am confident and clear about what I want and what I should avoid doing now. I will not fail.

Life in SS2 Petaling Jaya

2010-08-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

I'm now working in SS2 Petaling Jaya, somewhere near Kuala Lumpur. Rented a room in Casa Damansara Condominium 1. Never stayed in somewhere high up before. It really feels breezy and I can see a clear city view here, especially at night times.

Work was pretty good for now. It's been the second week. Programming was pretty fun with the boss around, wanting me to do some tests on Android phones and doing mobile application prototype for a low-end phone. The mobile application prototype was a tough job because of the demand of my boss of something good-looking rather than a crappy user interface on the low end phone. Trying my best to meet his requirements and expectations. I even got help from a foreign freelancer this week on that. Hopefully something gets worked out, or I can't continue on my second prototype.

Been working on something else to cover my living expenses now, in my case some selling might do well. Sold two items so far, but it's still not enough. Gotta find a way to boost my sales. But how? Promoting it through the web seems impossible to me. Hmm...

The story continues.

The Starting of My Internship

2010-07-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

Oh boy. It's a few hours before my internship starts. Felt kinda nervous about the first day at work. As usual for the preparations before work, I got my clothes all ironed up, wiped the dust of my leather shoes, and writing some necessary information on my log book.

As I wiped the dust of my leather shoes, I thought about dad cause that was the leather shoes he used to put on during special occasions, and he passed it down to me a few years ago. Kinda felt the "force" or "aura" of where this shoes had been for the past few years. Thank goodness the pair of shoes was in good condition and it followed me until now. Gotta buy some shoe wax to polish it up some time soon. (Alright shoe! Do your thing and shine tomorrow...)

Thinking about internship tomorrow, giving people a very convincing first impression is important.(Giggled...) Should I wear a necktie for this? Anyone have a better suggestion?

Aww well. Taking my last deep breath, mentally preparing...

Vision

2010-07-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

Imagine yourself wearing a business suit, looking out the windows and watch the city's horizon. This is the vision I had since I was in my childhood. I'll just let you guys look at this picture to get what I'm saying here. So, you know what I mean. Imagine yourself now...

Friday July 2nd 2010

2010-07-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

My internship is gonna start in two days. I'm a bit nervous and worried about how the working environment would be in my company. Heard from a friend of mine, who's in the same company as I am, that the working environment is kinda casual. I liked the sound of that cause this makes it less tense compared to working at other companies. Well, I might still wear formal to give others a very convincing first impression. Gotta be well-prepared for this...

Apart from that, I'm still waiting for an ex-employee who occupied the other room to move out. I can't stand sleeping on the floor any longer. Oh yeah, and PTPTN hasn't arrived. How am I supposed to sleep on bed when there's no budget for one!? Not just that, I can't even buy my own furniture just yet. Table, chair, book rack, mirror, etc... This is definitely not a good sign.

It's still a long way to go... until I achieve my childhood vision... It's getting stronger every time I think about it... (Hong Ann, you can do this... show them what you got... )

Thoughts On A Cold Wednesday Morning

2010-06-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

It's really cold today cause of the rain. It's been a while since it rained for a few hours. Felt a bit refreshed, after all the efforts I've put in for my final year project. Although it kinda sucked, at least the documentation doesn't, and also I have learnt a lot throughout the process of making it happen. I wanna rest now, and go further to the horizon on later days.

I kinda realized by looking at a pile of clothes unfolded on bed and the items I put on the table unarranged, that I AM really starting to turn into some kind of a messy person. And also, I looked at myself at the mirror and DAMN I look miserable! How long should I be in this state? At this rate, my youth's gonna be in jeopardy. Ugh...

It is for the very first time I'm gonna miss the desk I used, the room I lived in all by myself for six whole months. It's pretty cool that my privacy is at its peak during that period. My thoughts have never been this peaceful and crystal clear before. Perhaps I could have more of it when I go for my internship and working along the way. Every once in a while, I do feel helpless, empty and lonely at times, but that's okay. It is part of life's lesson, to be as independent as possible, no matter how bad the situation may turn out to be.

Even so, I might gonna miss out the chance to meet the roommate of mine (who coincidentally has the same English name as mine) who had been on his internship, and I gotta admit that he has a lot to talk about when he gets back. I guess you readers know how it is about guy talks - women, money, shelter. But too bad I'm gonna set my journey to Shah Alam before he arrives to Melaka. Let the meet be of some other time then, my friend, perhaps on our graduation ceremony.

The story continues...

A New Start on Blogging

2010-06-20T13:27:00.001-07:00

I'm just so glad that Blogger has so many features now. This includes a Template Designer for customizing the blog's outlook. Plus, I managed to find an Android application that allows me to mobile blog. So, this is gonna be a new start on blogging for me then.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.3.5

22 Oct 2009, Nighttime

2009-10-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

我从来没写过中文的BLOGPOST，所以如果有什么语言上的出错请原谅。。。
最近我觉得自己有点堕落。一旦有什么不开心或没预料到的事情发生，我的情绪就不稳定。情绪不稳定就不能做功课了。这已经持续了两天。想想一下，过一个星期就要考FINALS了。很多东西都还没做完。我到底在搞什么鬼啊？真的渴望时间能暂时停留，让我能透一下气。。。

Friday 09 October 2009

2009-10-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough yesterday, considering that I've been through a lot of unnecessary loss lately, mostly monetarily. To tell you readers in frank, PTPTN isn't going to cover much of my living expenses and academic necessities. I also dare not ask for my parents' money because they have the problems of their own. It would have been nice for me to do part-time jobs while studying, but that's bullshit. Tight schedules... assignments... Not to mention being taken advantage of... I mean seriously being taken advantage of... monetarily... Sometimes I wonder why humans are so dishonest these days... They're really good at lying, in some way you may call it acting.

Basically I'm just stuck in the middle of everything. I just hate myself. Hate myself for the imperfections that I have that caused such disaster and damage to myself.

I've been thinking about what to do during semester break lately. Registering for short courses? Work? Which one should I choose? (frawning...)

Writing myself tonnes of words in a blog to just complain about how difficult my life is... just seems so useless... It's not people would have a glimpse or a peek on it. So basically I'm just talking to myself, or a wall.

Wednesday, September 23 2009

2009-09-22T23:21:00.000-07:00

Been busy these days. Can't even think about what to post here anymore. Who knows, I might as well quit this blogging hobby.

I can't believe that studying is taking me so much of my time and effort, and yet the results are still not quite satisfactory. I personally thought about what I'm gonna become in the next one and a half years. I will eventually end up getting a second class degree certificate after graduation. I might not have the qualities of being hired by medium or big sized companies. Actually I was thinking of getting more training. Got some advice from one of my juniors that are actually familiar with the current working industry regarding programming. There should be MDEC training programmes available in Kuala Lumpur, MSC job camps being held somewhere.

I have no idea of waht to write anymore... The story stops here...

Friday, August 7 2009

2009-08-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

Last night was Ladies Night. Joined a friend of mine to the usual spot, Pure Bar. But before that...

This was the fashion I wore. I did post this photo on Facebook where most of the people kinda commented negatively on it.

Hmm... Maybe it's a bit outdated... Who knows?

Metrosexual... Huh?

"Metrosexual is a neologism of the 2000s generally applied to heterosexual men with a strong concern for their appearance, and/or a lifestyle that displays attributes stereotypically related to gay men."(Wikipedia)

I mean... Come on... Yes, I admit that sometimes I'm concerned about my appearance because I wanna make a nice impression around people. But that doesn't mean I'm getting myself into gayism. I'm still 100% attracted to girls, OK?

The session in Pure Bar was bloody brilliant, with sexy hot babes dancin'. (Well, it's Ladies Night afterall...) I've certainly enjoyed myself that night. The friend of mine... She had started to give me an impression that she goes to bar just to forget her problems. She showed her sad looks, just like she did a year ago, at the same venue. Still did the messaging thing(because it was noisy in the bar and I can hardly voice out then) and managed to get her spirits up again. Thank goodness. I sure don't wanna see someone, especially girls being sad around me.

Drunk... I recalled something stupid that I did there. Getting to know a girl who turns out to be someone's girlfriend. *Boom* That's a major no-no. Well, too bad.

The loner's story continues...

Sunday, August 12 2009, Daylight

2009-08-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

It's just another lazy Sunday afternoon where I am continuing my blogging hobby. Laziness just takes over me whenever it wants to, without worries about unfinished assignments. Last night, I finally realized how naive I am to think that my relationship with 'her' would go on. Looks like she gave me a big blow by saying we're always gonna be friends, now and forever will be. Kinda felt like glass... Shattering... (Silent laugh...) It turns out that I misunderstood all along. Maybe this is just her excuse because I'm not the one she adores...

Breakdown I might suffer from this above situation... But it turns out that I didn't. Maybe this is what I've been expecting... Failure... Aww well... No use complaining...

"For all the circumstances I'm willing to take, just to be loved..."

Handicraft Carpet Samples

2009-07-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

These are some of my mother's handicraft carpet samples... If those who are interested in buying one of it... Kindly leave a comment along with your email... I'll contact you soon...

I wonder who likes handicraft carpets these days?

2009-07-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

Handicraft carpets... Who likes them? Well, for your information, my mom makes quite a lot of handicraft carpets of nice colors. I've suggested that I sell them through the net. I sure wanna know who's interested in buying the carpet. If interested, please let me know through my email at kevintanhongann@gmail.com... I'll be uploading some pictures of the handicraft carpets very soon...

The Holidays...

2009-06-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I blogged here. Been busy with part-time work for some extra cash. I'm currently doing some designing work using Adobe Photoshop. Trying all sorts of things just to get used to it. So far, I did some flyers and logos. But I think I should need more challenge. I'm working on vectorizing photos using Photoshop or Illustrator. For one photo, it is estimated to take quite a long period for me to finish it. Aww well, I guess it's no harm to take my time... Afterall, it's my year break anyways...

Th story continues...

Involving myself with the Open Source Compiler

2009-04-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, my faculty students, as well as myself are being given a brief on the Workshop that we're gonna do the next semester. For that, we have to do a proposal for the title of the application that the group members and I are gonna build up.

A meeting was held between me and my group members, and finally we came up with the conclusion that we're gonna try out a mobile web application which is Java-based. I'm still not sure about what markup language that we're gonna use for our website.

For this coming two-month semester break, hopefully I can work something out with Java programming, as well as to familiarize myself with the compiler for that. Should I use Eclipse?

Hmm... A lot of uncertainties are bugging me right now... The story continues...

Sunday, 26 April 2009 Daylight

2009-04-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

I'm the middle of the exam at this time of period. Done 4 papers so far, 2 more to go. I'll be going back to Sarawak soon. It's not like I'm 100% excited to go home. It's just that... I don't think there's much to do back at my hometown. All I'm gonna do is eat, sleep and flip through books (maybe not...) , and if possible... work...

A few weeks ago, I was worrying about getting a place to stay outside the hostel since third year students won't get much chance of staying. Luckily the new place is just the opposite the hostel area. So, transportation is not an issue to worry about anymore,not to mention food, and for certain I'm not bothered with myself not staying with my degree course colleagues, since they don't enjoy the company of the likes of me anyway. One more thing is that I got a single room, thanks to friends from the Mechanical Faculty, which means more freedom and privacy. I really appreciate and thankful for their hospitality, and accepting me for who I am.

But recently my parents called... I told them about where I'm gonna stay, and they were not quite contented about it. In the end, it's just financial issues that matter them the most. I know I spent so much in the past few months and paid my debt for the last semester's break. That makes me feel a little more pathetic. Damn! I guess they wouldn't understand how tough it is to make right decisions and to keep promises.

I believe that most of the people out there would think that I am a total jerk for being disobedient towards my parents. But that's just the way it is. Tough decisions...

One more thing... recently I try my best to tolerate nonsense people that tells me to change my attitude... Change my attitude towards what? I tried to change my ways of dealing with people. I kept myself silent so that others wouldn't say anything bad or make fun of me anymore. I tried to make friends with others. But I can't just seem to get it right.

Somemore... hot tempered people that only knows how to kick and punch doors... sheesh...

11 April 2009, Daylight

2009-04-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

It seems that my assignments and projects are finally finished, and submitted them too. Now comes the finals exam. I really haven't studied much because of the massive workload. I'm so doomed this time... To think I'm gonna score something for this semester, I've worked so hard to achieve. However, nothing seems to pay off. Is it that my effort isn't enough to cover them all?

And in consequence of the effort that I've done, I didn't have much sleep too.

Ahh~! There's nothing like a nice drink of Nescafe Mocha, after long days of hardwork (that doesn't pay off). No use being depressed about how bad I turn out in my life anyways... Although I'm kinda close to getting myself addicted to coffee, but what the heck~? Who cares about health issues? As long as I'm happy...

A Day at the Beach

2009-04-02T06:33:00.000-07:00

A Photo of the students of my study course, taken with our lecturer, Mr. Haji Mohd Fauzi.

Yup~! That's me... =.=

Haha... I dunno how to start this post. But hey~! Went to the beach with my university coursemates for a kite flying demonstration, not to mention some leisure and fun. It's been a long time since I bathed with sea water. My back's having a skin change too... Hehe...

19 March 2009, Daylight

2009-03-20T09:57:00.000-07:00

It seems that I missed a lecture. The lecture starts at 8am, and I woke up at that time too. After that lecture, all of them asked me why I didn't attend lecture. I answered them what I suppose to. Unfortunately there's one bad thing. The lecturer said that I missed three lectures... WTF~! When did I miss three lectures? If three lecturers are missed means suspension from taking the finals exam! I only missed one, which was this god damn morning! Thank goodness I control my own emotions very well today, or else I'll burst into flames~!

19 March is the day I always feel a little more carefree and easygoing, without taking stressful subjects into account. It's sorta like a PC releasing its cache and memory. I just wanna feel more relaxed and enlightened. And more to it, I don't wanna feel angry or depressed or happy...emotionless...

Well, this year's birthday is a bit dull though. There's no celebration for me at all. That's fine with me actually. This is because a lot of people actually came up to me and say "Happy Birthday". I'm truly glad about that...

Despite of all greetings that I received, no matter from verbal conversations, MSN or via Facebook, I'm still feeling the emptiness and loneliness within myself. Looks like I have to find something else to distract me from the so-called symptoms of depression.

Monday Monday...

2009-03-09T05:51:00.000-07:00

It's a starting of a new day of the week, Monday. It's kinda lucky that I haven't any lectures today. Plus, I already finished my assignment and submitted just early this morning by uploading it.

Well, today's routine is just the same, staying indoors with nothing much to do, although there's a midterm exam coming up tomorrow. ( mustn't talk about midterms here cause I hate it =.=" ) Plus, I got rejected when I ask her (you know who I meant) to come out and have lunch together. Sob. This makes me kinda envy(or jealous of) her friends so much because they are so close to her.

I 've been spending my time pondering about stuff by lying on my bed, with almost no energy or will power to do anything. The feeling of emptiness... I hate it when it gets to me. Sadistic, eh?

For now there's no plans yet. I'm working on a trip to Redang Island for relaxation... or a bicycle trip to the northern part of West Malaysia perhaps. There should be enough time for me to travel after the final exam.

The story continues...

Money Issues

2009-03-03T03:20:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda regret that I didn't plan my financials correctly. Just in case you readers out there didn't know, PTPTN money isn't enough for a student such as myself. My wallet seems to have shrunk because I spent too much in my last semester break. Mustn't forget that I lost RM300 at the Genting Highlands casino.

=.=

Hope I don't end up like the cartoon character above.

Well, recently I went to a voiceover audition for the e-Learning project in my university. They're currently needing some people with proficiency in English to just narrate the lecture slides. Hopefully this will be an opportunity for me to make money. (with dramatic sound) Money ah~!

Dong Zhen Temple

2009-03-01T02:07:00.000-08:00

The following pictures are taken at Dong Zhen Temple in Jenjarom Selangor, Malaysia. That was during the Chinese New Year. I joined a university trip to the temple for a Dharma Talk and the Lighting Exhibition. Enjoy. ;-p

1-on-1 Date

2009-02-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I was out with a housemate of mine for some dinner when her message came in. She asked me whether we can meet up at a cafe somewhere in Ixora. I was really happy that she actually wanna see me. Yay~!

We met at the Mori Cafe where a lot of MMU chinese students use to hang out. I thought her friend was goin' in with us, but then her friend was kinda "clever" to let me and her have a quality time together. Plus, her friend's with... CCC! So, we went in to have a drink since we had our dinner so late. I actually had a one-on-one date with her. Woohoo~!

So, we chatted... about what we did for the past week and recently. And I noticed something... She had a bit of panda-like eyes. (Yam Gong lor... ) She must have burnt the midnight oil studying, and possibly exhausted from her university classes or midterm...

Aside from that, the feeling was great, being able to meet up and chat with her again. Missed her a lot for the past few days. I'm a HAPPY man~!

The story continues...

Thinking of taking up a musical instrument called the guitar...

2009-02-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been long since I've been involved in music. I just touched the side drum during my high school days. I did try and sing sometimes, but i don't think there's much feel to music if there isn't any music accompaniment. Maybe I'm gonna get an acoustic guitar. Perhaps an F310 Yamaha acoustic guitar as recommended by Jeff, my online pal. RM250 and above... Hmm... Gotta get my schedules right first before I learn that...

Universiti Teknikal Malaysia Melaka Cubic Campus

2009-02-19T23:43:00.000-08:00

Outside view from the bus stop.

The Cafeteria.

Outside view of the the Green Cubic Building.

This is how our UTeM shuttle bus looks like.

The outside view of the Canselory Building.

Someone I knew from the Internet just requested that I upload some photos of my university campus to just let her have a glimpse. Not much actually, but here they are.

Love really makes people suffer...

2009-02-19T09:06:00.000-08:00

Do you know exactly why I'm saying this?

Well, this is because when I don't know how the girl I admire really feels about me, I had so much thoughts about that, and how much I pray for her to just notice and just concern about me a bit. And how I wish to see her when she's not around me... every moment I thought about her.

Just to test things out with how much she cares about me, I plan to not send her SMS and call her for a week. I wonder how would it turn out to be... She'll SMS me or call me for a chat or whatever... I don't know anymore. I couldn't just care for her. She has to be a little bit concerned about me somehow. If not, there's no love...

Someone advised me about love relationships. If someone is not really concerned about you and other things you do, you gotta know the right time to just back off before you become the one who suffers the most in the end. I don't know. Maybe this word has some point.

Somehow I hope this love really exists between me and her.

Chinese New Year Card

2009-01-21T08:45:00.000-08:00

Just now I received a Chinese New Year card from Siew Yien. I was so touched, not to mention happy. She asked her friend to send it to me. I thought that she's just adorable with her stickers in the card. Bunnies... XD

It's been a while since I receive a CNY card from someone. I'm really happy... Thanks Siew Yien.

A Day Out...

2009-01-18T18:22:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday, I went out for a stroll in the city in Melaka with Siew Yien and Vernon for some clothes shopping since Chinese New Year is around the corner. Along our way to Mahkota Parade and Dataran Pahlawan by bus, I met some friendly people who are currently students as well as ourselves (two Singaporeans and four exchange students from the US). Chatted a bit about Melaka and myself. I also showed them where to go (St.Paul's Church). Seeing them being able to back-pack travel a lot makes me even more envious of them since I seldom go travelling. I wonder when can I actually travel to other places, considering that I can't use too much money since I'm unemployed and I'm still a student anyway.

After that, it's shopping time. Vernon, Siew Yien and I went to Dataran Pahlawan first. I ended up in Bossini and I actually found my favorite boot cut jeans which has a 40% discount, but I have to choose another piece of either a T-shirt, or another jeans in order the discount to be valid. So that means I have to spend around RM100 for that. This is sort of a weird marketing strategy. I walked straight out from the shop cause it's not really money-worth. I didn't buy anything in DP except for a belt for RM25. Vernon bought one too. Siew Yien was acting kinda funny. Vernon and I giggled at her when we talked about how mysterious she was when it comes to shopping. She didn't buy anything when we're beside her, but she did when Vernon and I wasn't looking. So shy she was.

We all walked outside Dataran Pahlawan for a while. I actually took a photo of one of the hallway. And observe...

I personally feel that this photo has a little artistic feel to it. Happy Chinese New Year.

Next stop, Mahkota Parade. Ended up in a few shops there. I picked myself a nice black non-colared T-shirt and a a blue colared shirt with square patterns and they both really match up. I can't believe it costs me around RM103.90 for purchasing them. Then, Vernon and I also picked up pairs of shoes at a nearby shoe store. Another RM39.90 spent.

After eating at Newton after the MP stroll, we walked ourselves to the Eye on Malaysia since we haven't went on it. Besides, it's night time, which makes the Eye much more beautiful. We also took photos there.

I like the last photo with Siew Yien because I smile even more natural. Siew Yien's probably shy, judging by the look of her face. And, there's a photo of me and Vernon standing back-to-back smirking like bad boys. That one's hilarious. But my face looks ugly though. Haha...

After that, we walked back to Mahkota Parade through Jonker Street. Some souvenirs we have bought have our names on them.

Thank goodness we had transport home. Long Wei's kinda helpful. Sorry Long Wei for interrupting while you and your girlfriend were going out "Pak Toh". XD

I'll upload some other photos later.

I'm looking for the most reliable work from home job...

2009-01-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

Anyone know where to find the most reliable and scam free work-from-home job? I wanna make some pocket money while having some flexible schedule for me to do them... If anyone has any suggestions, please give your comments...

More Thoughts

2008-12-23T02:56:00.000-08:00

It's been quite long since I blogged. I don't know if this blog is actually seen by others, but that's ok. It's just a personal blog anyway. I doubt that people out there wouldn't give much of a damn about my blog, I think...

Well, this semester break I was forced to move out by the university's hostel. Even though I get to stay there, I'll have a possibility of being charged expensive. So, I moved out to a temporary place somewhere in Kpg Lapan Melaka. Along the break, I've learnt lessons, no matter regarding academics, business, or even life.

Since I haven't much conversations with friends and relatives, I've started to play this Meetoto game on the net. Well, it's not bad except that the security is much weaker that it's easier to be hacked by players. Got to know people more through there. Much better than having conversations in real life. Making friends are also a jiffy through there.

But along the process of playing this game, I've truly experienced becoming a hikikomori, a person who seldom goes out of his room or shelter. Wouldn't it make me feel better or worse to be a hikikomori!? XD

In this month I've really done something I've never did before like losing RM300+ in the Genting casino and borrowed other people's money too much. Now, I have RM900 to pay back. Wow. Nice personal debt record... I'm impressed. It was painful but a nice experience though. It was quite an eye-opening experience observing how people behave and acted, the way they talk, the way they interact with each other. The most intersting part was in that Genting casino, I saw a woman from China behaved quite lively and outspoken when she played dice. She shouted, "Da! Da! Da!"(Big big big) or "Xiao! Xiao! Xiao!"(Small small small). You gotta have to check the look of her face when she loses the game. Wahaha...

It's already 23rd of December 2008. Tomorrow's Xmas eve. I was gonna go book a bus ticket to KL. But then, so far no one has been willing to guide me or show me around KL. I was kinda scared that I'm lost in the concrete jungle. If only I got to ask the girl I find to be interesting and intriguing in Meetoto to just stay with me for a short while, in KL... Since she misses her dad so much and she has love problems, I wanna try and cheer her up somehow. Too bad she already has plans. I guess that's ok, since her plans can just keep her mind off things.

Well... that's about it.

Windows Vista Ultimate... Major OS Upgrade on My Laptop...

2008-11-04T05:16:00.000-08:00

From the year 2007, I bought a Dell Inspiron 1420 with a 1-year limited warranty and Windows Vista Home Basic installed... Just recently I got fed up of Basic because of the presence of bugs occuring with the picture icons that doesn't show its thumbnails... Since my warranty has expired, I took a risk to upgrade my operating system to Windows Vista Ultimate.

The upgrade was a success and the bugs were gone... But one thing that's really weird is that the upgrade from Windows Vista Home Basic to Ultimate took quite a long time due to the riddance of the old Basic system files and replacing with the new ones. I'm enjoying the new features offered by Windows Vista Ultimate right now...

At first I was worried of the high resources that Ultimate will be using, but with 2GB of RAM I guess it wasn't much of a problem...

Waiting for the upcoming Windows 7...

Another boring post...

2008-10-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

It's already Sunday, 26 October 2008. Academic stuff are far more than I've always expected, especially when you team up with people and then resulting into more and more complications. Totally drained out of how to manage my academics. Kinda tired in the past week because of my project due's around the corner.

Submitted a Multimedia project which is a total failure done by a self-proclaimed "Can finish in one night" girl who seeks her friend's help. Looks like other people from my study course figured out that she might not do well since they've teamed up with her in the past as well as present. Still thinking of ways to fix up this mess by creating another Flash animation based on my own ideas. It's all because of her wanting to go back for her Deepavali celebration. I sacrificed my CNY... Why can't she sacrifice her Deepavali? This is so unfair!

There's a Software Engineering project which is successfully done with KKS(a coursemate and housemate). We had successfully presented the project and someone had to spoil it for me by mocking me cough! Hmph! If the wise guy is to be discovered again, "just you watch... asshole!"

One more project... Data Communications & Networking. Haven't any idea on how should I continue.

Oh yeah. And Bengkel. Coding difficulties, incapability to submit a full program... Presentation's on Tuesday. Bummer...

I have to fix my mess and do projects during my study week, which means the loss of focus towards my finals revision... This is totally... difficult to describe...

Under pressure, tired... Makes me wanna drink one or two shots of tequila... Sigh...

The loner's story continues...

One fine day on a field trip...

2008-09-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I was kinda in a rush to complete a project related to Etnique Relations, the Baba and Nyonya. Well, I visited some places like the museum. The weird thing is that so far there's no live interview with a Baba or Nyonya. Took a lot of pics related or whatsoever that I feel fun and interesting. Well, apart from the Baba Nyonya stuff, it's kinda fun to hang out with my coursemates that are in this project with me, especially when we play in a playground just near the museum. Feels like childhood again. The joy and laughter...

Sometimes people don't seem to notice the little and simple things that bring simple yet meaningful happiness. I realized and noticed it now... The kind of happiness that I was looking for for all this time, it's somewhere unexpected, but it's to be discovered soon.

The story continues...

Welcome to My Conspiracy Theory

2008-09-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

To all readers out there. You guys and gals wouldn't know that there's something hidden behind something that you believe to be good. Everything that you've said and done, people out there are just gonna say something bad about it, talking behind your back. You might think that the society treats you well. You're wrong. They're just gonna leech your ideas, and everything you possess. One persona is gonna influence another and another to turn against you in the end. Their paranoia makes them do all sorts of things to hurt the inferior, make them fall.

So, if there's anyone who treats you well all of a sudden, just think of the reason why he/she is doing so. There must be something behind it. A conspiracy to be exact...

It's not that I don't believe in someone true, someone that are willing to help out, hearing people out on some issues. At least we must be aware on our surroundings, what's happening around us. Before someone backstabs us from behind, we might not be able to stand up again in the end.

Welcome to my first post of my conspiracy theory...

Prom Night...

2008-09-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

Well... I went to the prom last Saturday. Went there by an old crappy schoolbus (XD). Anyway, the place that I'm heading to is Orna Golf & Country Club, which is situated not far from the Jasin border in Melaka.

There's something that still doesn't change in this story. It's a lonely me again. I thought that I had interacted less with my faculty and course mates. Guess there's no place for me at the round table where the 'knights' gather. So, I went to Vernon and some girls from the other faculty, also the committees of the event itself. In the whole event I was making quite a fool of myself. Don't know what I should do either. I didn't ask for a dance too. Geez...

I don't think that this prom has brought me anything special this year, plus I had my projects to worry about. Not in the mood. But at least I did enjoy the live singing performance from a first year girl of the Computer Engineering Faculty. A talent to be discovered and to be greatly developed.

The story continues...